Surviving the Terrible Twos

I thought it was a myth. I thought my sweet, innocent little girl with her big beautiful brown eyes would never do it. But it happened.

There I was standing in the middle of Target with my toddler and wearing my new born baby with a basket full of diapers, wipes and baby food when she had her first full on meltdown.

It was loud.

It was ugly.

And just like that I had become that mom that everyone stared at with either compassion or disgust. The mom who couldn’t handle her child. The mom who had graduated into having a child going through the terrible twos.

It was one of those moments that no first time mom ever is ready or prepared to handle. I know that I never in a million years would have thought my sweet angel could do something like that, but trust me she did. And for most of us moms it will happen at some point or another. Luckily, the wrath of the two year olds only last for a little while.

Now after going through this stage with my 3 kids, I have composed a Moms 4-Step Survival Guide.

First Step – Prepare

Moms, the first thing you need to do is prepare for the battle. And you can do this by running your errands or household on a schedule. Whenever possible schedule your errands around when your child is alert. Attempting to do something while your child is hungry, sleepy, grumpy or sick is a recipe for disaster.

If you must go out, prepare for combat by doing the following:

~Have your toddler use the bathroom or have a fresh diaper.

~Have two or three snacks and water in your purse or diaper bag at all times.

~Have an extra change of clothes in your car ready to use in the event of an accident.

~Finally and most importantly tell your child where you are going, how long it will take and when you are coming home. Just like we as adults like to have some sense of control, so do our kids. Prepare them mentally for what’s coming ahead and maybe remind them that they will have a special reward when they get back home if they are good (mini M&Ms or stickers work great!).

Second Step – Check In

Sometime we moms are guilty of trying to do multiple things at once. (Guilty!) So while you are running to the bank, grocery store and gas station remind yourself to check in with your baby. This is especially true when a bathroom is nearby. A simple “How are we doing?” “Need a snack?” may be enough to prevent a meltdown.

Third Step – Intervene

Interventions are a necessary step when your child is starting to get whiny or is not listening. Become aware of your child’s body language and triggers. Avoid walking through toy aisles. Avoid candy aisles too. Oh and if you know you are going somewhere that smells like popcorn (like Target) and your child will magically turn into a popcorn monster, here is what you need to do. Before you walk in say “I know you like popcorn, but right now mommy is in a hurry. I promise next time we will get you popcorn, but right now we just can’t stop. Can you repeat what mommy just said?”

One of my favorite intervention tactics with my kids is to tell them, “Do we need to go to the bathroom for a break?” My kids now understand that’s the cue for stop what you are doing and behave. They know that we will literally stop what we are doing and walk to the bathroom wash our hands and do a sort of reset until we are ready to finish our tasks.

Fourth Step – Cease and Desist or AKA Leave now!

Unfortunately, sometimes no matter what you do, let’s face it, your child is just not going to cooperate. Ask yourself, does this really need to be done today? If your answer is “No” then just go back home. Stress feeds on stress and if your child is causing you to be frustrated or anxious, or dare I say angry, then it’s just going to become a battle of wills. And honestly it’s not worth it.

Your sweet baby is still your sweet baby, but just like all of us they have off days. It is important for you to know that it’s okay. We all go through it and walking out of the grocery story with a two year old who is on a full on tantrum is nothing to be ashamed about doing. In fact, it takes courage, will, and confidence in your parenting skills to walk out. Don’t you want to be the type of mom that says, “If you don’t stop we are going to go” and your children know you mean it!

Motherhood is about consistency, consistency and a little more consistency. Your child will learn that rules are not made to be broken they are made to be followed.

Remember that your biggest asset is knowing that you CAN survive the terrible twos.