Something is wrong.
Your child suddenly wants to go outside and take walks. He/she is unexplainably enamored with public places and being around other people who are playing on their phones. He/she may also be prone to fits of uncontrolled rage while murmuring something about “a stupid low level pigeon.”
Do not fret- your child is not possessed (well, the chances are slim anyway). It is quite likely that he/she has downloaded the Pokémon Go! app and is now completely obsessed with finding the little creatures.
So, let’s do this. Here is a quick overview of Pokémon Go! for the uninitiated.
The Basics
Pokémon Go! is an immensely popular AR (that’s augmented reality) game for Android and iOS. It has a built-in GPS tracking system which shows you which Pokémon are near you by using a three step distance gauge. One step is relatively close, two is sort of close and three steps is typically over a block or two away. The app will show you which direction to go to find the desired Pokémon. The creature will only stay for a set amount of time, so if the player takes too long or doesn’t go the right way, the Pokémon will quite likely disappear.
The Pokémon (creatures) are “caught” with Pokéballs, which the player earns by going to Pokestops. This is why your child might suddenly develop a passion for being outside.
Unless your child pays for the Pokéballs he/she must earn them by going to these locations. No Pokéballs= no fun.
Some Pokémon are rare (Snorlax and Squirtles) while others are common (Pidgey, Magicarp, Zubat, to name but a few). Basically the rarer the Pokémon, the better the catch. Often players will pass on low level catches to conserve Pokéballs.
Players can also pit their “high-level” Pokémon against other Pokémon in “gyms,” which are also located at random places. The winner of the match gets experience points, which allows the player to get to a higher level in the game.
Oh, and there are eggs. Yes, eggs. These little things have babies and the player has to walk around to hatch the eggs, logging 2km to 5km depending on the type of egg. This part is actually kind of nice!
Why Is My Child Taking Random Pictures in Strange Poses?
This game has a really cool feature- part of the “AR” experience. The player can actually take pictures with the characters! So if your child starts taking pictures of their hands it is not as weird as it looks. He/she is quite likely trying to put a Pokémon on his/her hand and snap a pic of it. I myself have had the pleasure of posing with an Eevee. It is a cute one, so I was okay with it. I refused a pic with the Zubat and the Geodude. Those guys freak me right the heck out.
Why Does My Child Get So Angry With the Game?
Because it is very, very frustrating! Your child is not upset over a pigeon but rather a Pidgey, which is a very common Pokémon that no one wants. Magicarp is another common one that will make your child prone to outbursts. These common ones tend to appear often, and the game is not that fun when the same old creatures keep appearing!
Also, the fact that the tracking system on this game is SO inaccurate, makes the game play experience challenging. Go left…no right…no wait is it in the middle of the ocean? Is it on the field of the baseball stadium during a game? Yep, some of these little guys are just not accessible though they pop up on the players’ screens taunting them.
Then there is the Pokéball breakout phenomenon. That’s when you catch the little booger, only to watch it break out of your Pokéball. This apparently can happen over and over, with the same Pokémon. It’s kind of like hitting every single traffic light on the way to your destination. You just keep on going and hope for the best.
And lastly, the little suckers disappear! They just vanish, without saying goodbye. It is not fair, and that is something Poké-fans just don’t like about the game. You stalk the darn thing and it just randomly goes for a donut when you are in pursuit! What’s up with that?
Why Is My Battery Dead and My Phone Bill So High?
This game is a battery vampire! For this reason I highly recommend a portable charger. Also, this game requires a mobile data connection, so data overage is concern if your child is really hooked. I suggest monitoring data usage very closely to prevent a coronary when the bill arrives.
Can I Make My Child Come Back to Reality?
No, the chances are slim that this will happen anytime soon. My advice is milk this puppy for all you can! Take your kids with you while you shop for swimsuits. Tell your child, “Hey, you should take out the trash! I think I saw a Snorlax out there just a minute ago!!” It doesn’t matter how horrendous the excursion or the task, because Pokémon are everywhere and each step counts toward hatching an egg!!!
*** UPDATE: Uh-oh! Now your kids are probably really, REALLY mad! Apparently the geniuses who made this game have decided to turn off the Pokémon tracking system as of July 31, 2016. This means that Pokémon pop up on the screen but the player has no idea where to look for them. The company is getting a lot of grief about this and hopefully they will turn the tracking system back on soon. (For the love of Pete turn the darn tracker back on whoever you are!!!! You are making my life unbearable with a 15 year old Pokémon Go! addict!) ***
I hope this primer is helpful. I apologize if I’ve left anything out.
May your Pokémon be plentiful and your navigation be right…and may all your Pokémon win their fights!
I’ve been wondering about all the excitement and wondering how it works! Thanks for sharing
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