I always had a feeling I wanted to be a mother. Those motherly instincts came naturally to me and I found myself imagining my children even at a young age. So it was no surprise I had my first daughter at 19, and now, at the age of 24, I have three beautiful girls.
After I had my first daughter, I heard about being a surrogate and I immediately became curious. Carrying a baby for a family who couldn’t have a baby on their own sounded nothing short of rewarding and amazing. I could complete a family for someone else and give them the joy that my daughter brought to me.
Almost immediately after my second daughter was born, I signed up with an amazing surrogacy company in San Diego, Modern Family Surrogacy. At the time I didn’t quite know what I was getting myself into or the type of people I would get to meet. I was quickly matched with a couple from China, and found out that they had been trying for years to get pregnant but they had many issues that prevented it from ever happening.
I was the youngest of my friends to have kids so I didn’t know what infertility was exactly. I knew some people couldn’t have kids but it never crossed my mind that people actually struggled with it.
I was thrilled that I would get the chance to complete this beautiful family once and for all. I quickly started several different medications and hormones to prepare my body for the best embryo transfer possible. Surrogacy and IVF treatments are so insanely expensive, we all hoped it would work the first try. The day I went in for the embryo transfer the parents were there, holding my hand and holding in tears. They were about to place their hopes and dreams into basically a stranger.
They successfully transferred two embryos and the waiting game began. I quickly tested positive on pee sticks and blood draws within a week. My HCG levels were high and we all suspected it was twins! A couple of weeks later I had an ultrasound and it was confirmed, TWINS!! We were all thrilled and yet I could sense the parents were cautious, nothing is ever certain when it comes to having children.
On my second ultrasound they noticed one baby wasn’t growing at the same speed as the other, they warned us I may lose it. I tried to remain optimistic, but it was hard. If I lost one of the babies I would be devastated.
One morning, around 10 weeks pregnant, I woke up sick, and I knew.
I went to the emergency room and they confirmed that the one twin had stopped growing. I was hysterical, what a terrible feeling, even though I knew it was nothing I did, I couldn’t help but blame myself. In the end, I think I took it harder than the parents, they were used to loss. What a terrible thing to say, how can someone be used to loss? No one who wants children should ever have to experience that feeling. I can’t even begin to scratch the surface of what it must feel like to continually feel that loss.
They kept me hopeful though, they were thrilled to have one healthy baby and so was I. I carried a baby boy to 36 weeks and then my water broke the night the parents landed back in California. He was ready to meet his parents, and they were ready to meet him. They held my hand while I gave birth and the look on their faces when he was born made everything worth it. Every hormone injection, every blood draw, every doctor’s appointment, every contraction. It was worth it because I made a family. I gave them everything they ever wanted, everything they needed.
If I could be a surrogate for every family out there who had infertility struggles, I would, however, my body might not like me very much. I am so lucky to have my three girls, and I don’t take it for granted for one minute. I don’t wish infertility on anyone and I hope blogs like this can spread more awareness for those who do struggle. Being a surrogate is a truly wonderful and rewarding experience, there is nothing quite like completing the missing puzzle piece for a family.
