“Her social media pictures are so staged!”
I actually heard those words recently. They weren’t directed at me but they hit a nerve. How often have you seen pictures on Facebook or Instagram and thought ‘yeah right’?
Not guilty you say?
Well the judging is real and happening all over social media. People openly bash the perfectly contoured and well put together faces of women online, but there’s a mom version of this too.
I think that the feelings that stem from that attitude can be fought off in two ways:
1-Ask questions.
I’m scrolling along on Facebook and see that a friend’s child is digging through a sensory bin; water beads to be exact. I remember our failed attempt at water bead sensory play. My fishing them out of little mouths and finding them under the sofa later on. There is no way her child is playing with those that well! My eyes hurt from rolling them.
If you feel yourself go there, why not ask how she keeps everything contained and if she has tips for keeping sensory play fun without it being a headache.
Last month I approached fellow SDMB writer, Jessica, and asked how on earth her young toddlers paint each others nails without getting nail polish on the cabinets and ceiling. She gave me great advice which I now use! Ask ask ask!! We all have our own little parenting tips and hacks that we rely on, why not pass them on!?
2-Don’t get down on yourself!
This is the big one because I think a lot of our negative feelings come from fear that we aren’t doing this whole parenting thing 100% right. How often have you heard that you’re a great mom?
Not often enough?
Well you are!
We all do everything possible that we know and can do for our children to succeed. If you’re feeling insecure about yourself, then Instagram can be a bad idea. People post beautiful pictures, (for the most part) and all you see in the blink of an eye is that beauty. You look around you and see piles of laundry, a cereal trail leading to another mess and wonder where you went wrong. You haven’t gone wrong! Hang in there! Lastly, it’s unlikely someone is posting a picture directed just at you. Try not to take the happiness of someone’s social media feed as a personal challenge or attack.
We tell our children to choose their words carefully because they can be used to lift up or to bring others down. We teach our children not to be jealous of others and that they are awesome in their own ways. A mom hopes that her child doesn’t compare themselves to others, but here we are guilty of those very things when we look through social media. Let’s stick together mamas because motherhood is just easier with friends and those we can rely on.
Love this article, Katrina! I’m definitely that mom that gets discouraged seeing everyone’s “perfect” page.
I think we’ve all been there Ashly! Especially it seems when you’re not having a great day. We just have to remember we all have “those days”!
Karina*
First of all, hopefully my advice helped you out in the polish department 🙂 And second, that’s EXCELLENT advice about asking questions instead of judging. I post to social media often, and love it when people ask questions, but I need to do better about asking, too!
Such a great reminder, Karina! Loved this 🙂
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