One Seasoned and Snarky Mom’s Rant on Halloween

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It’s officially October and much like you; I have Halloween on the brain. As a mother of 4 children; 3 boys and a girl, ranging in age from 13-3, here are a few thoughts judgements on Halloween 2017.

First, let’s address the trick-or-treaters age issues… Last week, this post came out and created a bit of a buzz on the old www. Since I have a teen, I would like to say how incredibly ridiculous I think this post/law is. Logistically, how are they even going to know the age of the kids? Card them? Put a bouncer at the end of each driveway? Lame. If a kid is bold enough to dress up and embrace their childhood, so be it! If you are worried about handing our candy to “over-aged” kids, turn off the porch light, turn on Hocus Pocus and keep to your cantankerous self.

Second, this article about sexy costumes for little girls? Uh, please no. Let’s not encourage our girls to “show off the goods” by wearing those super short shorts (seriously though, I have underwear that cover more). There is really no need to rush them through the innocent stages of life or to add “sexy” to any little girls wardrobe in general. While we are giving the side eye to the trampy costumes… let’s also put all things adult humor on the list; no need for drugs, politics, or offensive humor. Let’s save all that for college, when they can make their own poor choices.

Finally, it’s really not about you. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have had to repeat that to myself of that while on this parenting adventure, but Halloween definitely serves as an annual reminder. For example, I am so envious of the family coordinated costumes. I have tried for many Halloweens now to convince my brood of a family theme without ever having any success. Maybe someday, but probably not. I have 4 very independent children. 

Side story, a few years ago I worked for weeks to construct my son a Thomas The Tank Engine costume from cardboard, paint, hot glue, and a bit of my soul. By Halloween night it was ready to go and I was so proud of the dang thing. I was just certain that he would love it.

Welp, not so much. In fact, he hated it. He literally wanted nothing to do with my masterpiece. So after weeks of working on the costume and one colossal meltdown, my husband took him upstairs to rummage through our dress up bin. Of course, he chose an old, tattered costume that he wore just about every other day of that year.

Bottom line, get over yourself. It’s really not about you, even when you try your best to make it all about the thing they love. Enjoy that infant Halloween year when you can put them in the one and only costume of your choosing and be sure to choose wisely, you’ll probably only get the one.

To the mom who has pulled off the family costume… but how?!?! What sort of wizardry do you possess? Did they all really want to do the family theme? Did you just force them? Threaten them? Bribe them? Teach me your ways!

To the rest of you fellow mamas; I hope your kids don whatever costume you created for them, I implore you to cover their butt-cheeks and please don’t forget to have them bring some form of age identification – it’s getting real out there.

Happy Halloween!

 

3 COMMENTS

  1. Amen! By the way, jr high kids and high school ones should get candy! For Pete’s sake I’m not ready for them to grow up yet either. I have kids ages 5 to 14 and i want my teen to come along with his family if he wants. Jerks

  2. Love it! I’m always trying to get my husband and three daughters to go with me as the Ingalls’,but so far they haven’t gone for it.

  3. If all it takes is some candy to get high school students to avoid a party that likely has alcohol they can come to my house as many times as they want! I don’t want them trying to do “adult”
    Things just because some houses think they are too old!

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