I’ve been married for 7 years, and having children definitely changed my marriage. Let me tell you how:
I spend less time on my personal appearance. I remember spending hours looking for the right outfit to greet my hardworking man. I would curl my hair, wear his favorite perfume and sport the newest thing from the mall. Nowadays, I’m lucky if he comes home to me while I’m wearing a bra… and I use dry shampoo A LOT.
I have less personal time. I’ve always been a social butterfly. Any extra time I had before kids was spent going out to eat with friends, checking out the latest movie or taking a random road trip. I felt confident in who I was and not only do I NOT do any of those things now, but my personal time is limited to the bathroom-and sometimes that gets invaded too. My confidence has shifted as I come across times where I don’t know what I’m doing or how I’ll survive it.
Less romance. I’m not gonna lie. We were obsessed with each other when we were first married and childless. It was basically date night every night. Since having my children, date night or any alone time is very calculated and limited.
Less money. PERIOD. Who knew having children was so expensive? The diapers, wipes, clothes that only seem to fit one week out of the month, the latest stroller {I went through 4 or 5 with my last one}, every teething contraption I could find. My now 6-year-old has an eye for “fashion”. So when you are in a single income family, things get tight.
While I may have less of a lot of things, having children added so much more.
I have found that no matter how I look, my children and husband think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world. My friendships have been tested and tried but the truest friends have stood the test of time… and children. I’ve also made new friends from San Diego Moms Blog who I not only share the adventure of motherhood with, but who also strive to find the same things I am, such as balance and sanity. While I’m lucky that I get bathroom personal time, I’m also reminded that I’m loved and needed. As my children become more independent, my husband and I have found ways to sneak in some alone time. My husband’s affections remind me that while my body has changed, his love for me has grown-like my stretch marks. When money gets tight, we get creative.
Even though my life is not what it was in my early twenties, I’m happy with the life we’ve created. We laugh, create memories, value time and cherish each other. To me, those are things that matter most.
