I Have a Confession – I Am a Terrible “Stay at Home Mom”

By
marionbyrne
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4

I will admit it. I am a TERRIBLE “Stay at Home” Mom. There, I said it

I’ve never been ok with being TERRIBLE at anything, but here I am. I’m just not very good at being a stay-at-home mom. All my life, I have always been ambitious, competitive, driven.

In my professional life, I was always striving towards the next step, the next promotion. I measured my personal success by these achievements – I felt SUCCESSFUL!

But now I’m JUST a “Stay At Home” Mom

When my husband and I made the decision for him to be the main breadwinner, and for me to stay at home with our then 2yr old daughter, I gave up my career. Was it easy to do – NO!! I loved my job, the people I worked with, the company I worked for, the respect I had gained from my peers, I loved helping others develop and watch them be successful.

Every day was exciting and challenging. I felt fulfilled! I felt important! I contributed to our household finances! But now… I’m a “Stay At Home” Mom.

Without a doubt, it was 100% the right thing to do for our family.  

I love the time I have with my daughter, and I am so thankful to my husband for this opportunity to be with her, but I will admit I really struggled to adapt to being a stay-at-home mom. How can I be successful? – there are no promotions, no pay rises, no career milestones to mark my success. I felt like people looked down at me – what do I do all day? I’m “JUST” a stay-at-home mom.

The term felt like it had a stigma attached to it by society. Is it just me? Maybe it does!

My house is never tidy for long.

The ironing basket is never empty.

I am not a culinary genius.

I burn the homemade muffins I bake with my daughter EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I never get to the end of my to-do list.

I am TERRIBLE at staying at home and running a household.

But here is what I have figured out… Here is where my worth is… I am a MOM and I am a pretty AWESOME MOM. I’m not “JUST” a stay-at-home mom. I am a SUPERHERO MOM! I am the KEY to my family’s success. I didn’t give up my career to be a glorified housekeeper with no pay. I didn’t sign up for endless trips to the grocery store, the never-ending laundry, and the constant pile of dishes, where is the fulfillment in that? My home may not be perfectly tidy but it is full of so much love and giggles. This is how I measure my success, my worth – by looking at my family.

I see my husband working hard, achieving and excelling in his career, because of MY support behind the scenes. He could not do this without me. And I see my daughter growing into a strong independent girl. She is fearless. She is an adventurer. She is smart… my goodness, she is so so smart. She is hilariously funny. She is so unbelievably loving and knows exactly when you need a hug. She is also sassy and moody and testing! And she is figuring out the world, day by day, with me standing close beside her if ever she needs my guidance.

So, “Stay At Home” Moms –  when you feel like you want something more, when you can’t shake that never-ending repetitiveness and you feel so unfulfilled – know that you are successful, you matter, you contribute! You may not feel like you are conquering the world, but to your family – you are giving them the world. And that, for me, means more right now than my career ever could.

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marionbyrne
marionbyrne
Marion is originally from Dublin, Ireland and moved to San Diego with her husband and daughter in the summer of 2016, and welcomed a baby boy in 2018. Previously a focused career driven working Mama, she is now adapting to the role of Stay at Home Mom. She finds living in San Diego makes that role a lot more enjoyable and loves exploring all that San Diego offers with her 4yr old and 6mth old. When she isn’t trying out new playgrounds or watching Moana for the 50th time, she loves baking, crafting and DIY (although she’s not claiming to be amazingly good at any of these!). She also likes trying out new restaurants with her family, and enjoying a glass (or maybe two!) of wine! She loves to travel, is open to new experiences and really enjoys meeting new people!

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4 COMMENTS

  1. You nailed it!!!! Your success is not judged on the little ‘every-day’ drudgery, but the bigger picture… a happy, healthy and productive family unit and ‘happy, healthy and productive children’.

    In fact, that was basically the ‘mommy mantra’ that kept me going day after day. I can tell you that it paid off!!!! My kids are adults now, one is fully independent and the other is still working her way through grad school ,with some help from us, but it is all her when it comes to motivation and drive to meet her goals.

    And, by the way, I used to love to tell people I was ‘just’ a stay-at-home-mom because I was proud to be one. And, my loving husband, if he ever heard me say it, would always jump in and clarify that I am a stay-at-home-mom who has a higher degree than he does and he would sing my other non-child rearing praises.

    We like to talk about the woman behind the man who helps make their career a success, but the man behind the woman who is supporting her so she can successfully stay home and raise the kids is truly gold.

    You are lucky and blessed.

  2. Fantastic, mama! Thanks for sharing. Loved it!
    I recently read something from @anewjune on Instagram and she shared how she adds successes to her mental “mom resume.” So for instance, when you successfully figure out an ice cube game to keep your toddler busy for the afternoon, you have a new victory/skill to add to your mom resume.

  3. Thank you Lori! I really appriecate your comment, and your advice in knowing that it all paid off!

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