To Love

As a little girl growing up, we all dream of our dream wedding.

We have our Barbies marrying Ken. We memorize our own wedding vows. And as we get older, we go through relationships trying to find that Ken from when we were younger. Then finally, you meet your future spouse and get married.

What happens when you finally get married, and then that marriage ends?

You never get married and think, “Wow, what am I going to do if we get a divorce?” Getting a divorce is the LAST thing on your mind. And getting a divorce is one of the worst feelings. Whether you are the one wanting it or wanting to save the marriage.

You will go through soooo many emotions.

I remember feeling like a failure. Back in 2012, I had to move me and my 3 boys from Texas to California. We were going to stay with my mom in a 2-bedroom apartment. Yep, the 4 of us in one room. That part didn’t bother me. What bothered me was wondering: What am I going to do now? Will my kids hate me? Is my mom going to look at me and treat me differently? Does my mom think I failed as a parent and wife? What will my friends and family think? Again, there are so many emotions that you go through.

Going through a divorce will build you up in so many ways, too. In the beginning, you are hurt, sad and disappointed. After that, there is the rage. Then there is peace. You made it through that. Going through that makes you such a different person and makes you look at life a lot differently. For me, I learned that no matter what, I need to live my life happy. I grew so much after that. And the last thing on my mind was to ever be in another relationship. Hah!

Always know, after a storm is a rainbow. There is happiness after a divorce. There is love after a divorce. There is peace after a divorce. Never feel ashamed about it. You have so much more life to live, and you will find love again (if you are looking). August 15th will be my 4th wedding anniversary with my current husband. I found my Ken after a storm. I always tell people “Everything happens for a reason,” and it is SO true. Keep your head up. Smile. A divorce is not the end of the world. You will find yourself again.