How Do I Make Mom Friends?

As my daughter grows older, I’ve started to encounter new “parenting things” that you never learn from those “What to Expect” books. It seems like you can find a million pieces of information online about how to properly swaddle a baby, but no one really tells you about that awkward encounter when you’re forced to make friends with your kid’s friends’ parents.

How do you make mom friends?

My daughter has always been pretty into music and dancing, and started to express more and more interest in her cousin’s stories about dance classes, so I decided to enroll her in a beginner’s tap/ballet class. She’s almost 4, so it seemed like a good point where she wasn’t too young to learn, but wasn’t too old to be “behind” the others.

At her first class she was so excited to run into the dance studio with her little tap shoes on, just tap-tap-tapping away. And in the meantime, I was left sitting outside with the other parents. Most people would be okay with this situation–just go ahead and break the ice, right?

But I’ve always been more on the introverted side.

It wasn’t like at work, where we’re all being paid to be there, so we HAVE to talk to each other. And since it was the first class and they were all so young, none of the children already knew each other, so I couldn’t really start off with something like, “so… I heard Madison’s birthday is coming up.”

There were four girls in the class and two of them had come with both their parents, so finally I sat down next to the other unaccompanied mom. She seemed kind of distant… Did she not want to talk to me? Did she just want to watch her daughter without distraction? My social anxiety was in full-blown effect.

Finally I blurted out, “How old is your daughter?” Oh, God. What a stupid question. If I was any sort of good parent I would know how old a kid was just by looking at them. Luckily, she answered, and we started chatting a little about our daughters, class times, etc. After a little while our conversation gradually drifted off, however. She mumbled something about how it was hurting her neck to turn and look at the dancers, and then she got up and moved.

Oh. my. God. Did she just get up and move away because of me and my incessant small talk? She pulled out a laptop and started doing some work, but I was still kind of conflicted. Like, maybe she really needed to get this work done, but how much work could she really get done in the remaining 30 minutes that we were there?

Nevertheless, I persisted. At the end of the class I said something like, “Ok, well I guess we’ll see you next week… I’m Sarah by the way,” and I stuck out my hand. She looked kind of weirded out. Do people not introduce themselves like that anymore? Do people not shake hands? Finally, she said, “Oh, I’m so and so… yeah, see you next week.”

So was I successful? I’m not even sure? How do you make friends with other moms that you don’t know?