Perhaps for some of you, by now, New Years resolutions have lost their sparkle because of their notorious fail rate. I’m sure we’ve all done it, and had the usual goals like losing weight, managing finances better, succeeding at new careers.
And while all of these ideals are good and noble, a few years ago, I made the decision to have an over-arching “life goal”, and assign a special focus for each year as a resolution. That over-arching goal is both cheesy, and “unrealistic” in many ways—perhaps even impossible. But trust me, I’m not competing in Miss America… that over-arching ideal I set for my life is truly what we all wish for, anyway. And it’s:
To become the best version of myself.
One can immediately see why this goal is unrealistic; because, hello, we are all trying to do that very thing and it’s super hard!
But the fact that I have set the intention to search has certainly inspired me. It has led me from sweaty, meditative, instagram-worthy yoga practices, to classrooms with Bible-carrying future deacons. From the labs of an engineering career, to the jungles of the “stay at home mom” – turned blogger – world.
For instance, one year, I decided to deal with my need to be around certain people who hurt me and deepened my insecurities. Another year, to heal the resentment of a relationship worth saving. A few years ago, it was to foster my love for music and use those gifts in service of God.
Of course, the over-arching goal along with the resolutions never get their boxes “checked”, so-to-speak – because they are always in progress…
It’s not necessarily about completion. I just set the intention to be mindful that this is what I want to work on. I read about it, I write about it. I pray about it. And after it has become a habit of my thinking and actions, I am ready to set a new resolution the next year.
However, this year, I had not come up with a goal, and felt so busy, like the year had simply gone by too quickly!
Is it the SoCal lifestyle where freeway miles are shorter than actual miles?
Is it this alleged “mom brain” people often allude to?
Whatever the culprit, it’s an accepted truth that many of us have a “busyness” syndrome, and—no judgement—we’re subscribing our own kids to the same channel. Sports, music, massive amounts of homework, it’s a wonder they have time to be kids. Oops, scratch that—there is no time to be a kid anymore.
And here’s something I have realized about myself: It has been this very “busyness” lifestyle that has held me back from inviting friends over to my house. And you know another reason? The all-too-common side effect of Instagram and HGTV: the need to have the Insta-perfect home/decor/foods for such a gathering.
A couple days ago, I made a real effort to get friends together. And as the date approached, I could feel the stress rising. What were we going to serve? Was my house clean enough? Which plates—how did the cookies look? I wanted everything to look perfect.
These friends were worth showing up for. These are good people—good friends. But what I didn’t think about, is that because they are good people, it also meant they weren’t going to care how perfect everything was. Real friends roll with grace, because they are happy just to gather.
Towards the end of the party, as the families were getting ready to leave, we hugged and expressed how happy we were that we made it happen.
And my friend said, “Susy, you know what my New Years Resolution is?”
I shook my head, curious to know…
She went on to say, “…it’s to spend more time with you. I am not going to be too busy, to see you.”
And a crazy thing happened, I felt so loved!
So my resolution this year? To gather. To let go of Insta-worthy home status or busyness, and make the time for the people who I love, and who love me too.
So here’s to making the time to spend with the people that deserve to chill at your house – perfect or not!
Cheers to a Happy New Year and big, beautiful resolutions!
