I knew the day would come when I would have to get rid of my daughter’s pacifier. For months and months, I kept putting it off. To be honest, “putting it off” may be an understatement; I waited three years for this terrifying day. With each day that I avoided the inevitable, my daughter Kaia became more and more dependent on it for sleep, soothing during a tantrum, or calming during an injury.
With each passing month, I began to realize that I probably had more of an attachment to the pacifier than my daughter did. It was my own crutch to soothe, calm, and put my child to sleep. The harsh truth was that I wasn’t confident I could be the one to effectively do all those things on my own! So I constantly delayed it out of personal fear and my own ego, knowing good and well that I should have done it two years prior.
Knowing what I know now, I thought I would share with you these three simple steps I took to make the transition of letting go of the pacifier more peaceful—for both Kaia and myself. These steps created a supportive environment for her to make the decision to let go of the pacifier for herself:
- For about a month prior to what we will call “Doomsday,” we read Pacifiers are not Forever by Elizabeth Verdick before bed. This sweetly rhyming book encourages kids to self motivate and creatively find ways other than reaching for their pacifier to adjust to change and self soothe. The repetitiveness of the story, alongside the consistency of this nightly bedtime routine, helped Kaia and I build a subtle but concrete awareness that her pacifier days were coming to an end. (Get a copy of this book today: CLICK HERE)
- I began to limit pacifier time ONLY to sleep time. No more taking it with us out during the day. No more using it as a crutch to soothe during tantrums or on car rides. No more walking around the house with it after a tumble. This limitation of time cut down its use from an all-day crutch to a signal that it was time for bed.
- We went to Build-A-Bear in Fashion Valley Mall and put her last and final pacifier inside the bear of her choice. She chose Skye, her favorite Paw Patrol character. We made an entire afternoon of this momentous occasion. As a mother, it was quite possibly the cutest experience I have had thus far. While at Build-A-Bear, Kaia kissed her pacifier goodbye and watched them place it inside Skye. We created a voice-over that sings, “No more paci, throw it in the trashy,“; a line from the book we read through out the month. Inside Skye the paci went and voila! Kaia’s pacifier was gone for good.
Now, Kaia has a new outlet to self-soothe, sleep and live a “paci-free” life. She sleeps with Skye every night, and during the day she takes her around alongside her. The best part? She made the decision to do this, without any force or ultimatums on my end. Empowering her to make her own choices and self motivate has made the transition incredibly smooth and more importantly, lasting.
So if you are dreading this day as much as I was, I am here to say that there is hope and alternative methods to the old school cold turkey split. Allowing Kaia to make her own choice, helping her to understand the process, and creating a fun experience out of letting go of her pacifier truly was a bonding and learning experience for us both. Also, now I don’t have to hear anything more from the peanut gallery about my 3-year-old running around with a pacifier.
What are some things that have worked for your family in transitioning away from the pacifier?
