As a mom to 4, you dream that your kids will be perfect. Nothing will be wrong with them. Happy, healthy, good kids. That is what we want, as soon as you find out you are pregnant. To me, Joshua was my extra special baby, as he was my 3rd child. When Joshua was in preschool, his teacher would always say that he didn’t take the transition from recess to learning time well. And honestly, I just thought she was a bit hard on the kids. But it would set the tone and earliest memory for Our New Journey.
Once Joshua hit kindergarten, his teacher who I LOVED (she was my oldest’s kindergarten teacher, so I knew her well) would tell me that the transition (yep there it goes again) was not good. At that time, I was having to walk to the gate with a newborn and remember being so mad walking back to the car. It was about 4 days out of the week that I would hear that report. Then 1st grade came, same thing. But this time, he started walking out of the class, banging his head on his desk on occasion.
The biggest thing was that he would shut down. Not talk to anyone and he wouldn’t respond for 20 minutes. Then after he was done, he would continue his work and the rest of the day. I cannot tell you how many times I was called to go to the school to help him and his teacher or have a meeting. Thank God, I work from home, because I am sure I would have been fired from a job. So we started to see a therapist. And we implemented new structures and systems for him. And for awhile it was going great. He was invited to a birthday party and he was sooo excited to go. I walked him in, he went off with his friends and I was like “yesss, he is going to have fun”. I get a call about a hour later, he was crying for no reason. So I went to the house, and he was fine at the moment and ready to hit the pinata. And again, I didn’t think of anything.
Summer comes and we have a blast, and still doing homework throughout. The boys spent half of their time with me and the other half with their dad. And Joshua kept promising me that he would do good for 3rd grade and he was so excited to start back to school in August.
September comes, and then I get the message from an app (the school uses ClassDojo to keep in contact with parents and updates us how the kids are doing, etc.) that he has been walking out, and having his breakdown of tears and not talking. OMG, at this point, I am pissed. He doesn’t do it at home, so I was frustrated. I will admit it. I didn’t understand.
So there goes the referral to the therapist again, that comes to the school once a week. So that meant I was having to make sure not to schedule any doctor appts on those days, because I would have to be there for the meetings. I think in 2nd grade, I had about 7 meetings and was called countless times to the school to help him, while I was there to go pick up my daughter from preschool. The thing, is that he was getting GREAT grades and testing out. He LOVES science and when he starts liking a subject, he is hooked on that subject.
Joshua is now in 3rd grade. We started off good and then in October we were referred again. Yep, a HUGE sigh and me thinking I am the worst mother ever. I cried so much that night. My husband Shannon has been the BIGGEST rock for me through this all. And helps Joshua so much. Because I couldn’t understand why he was doing this.
So March 2019, they called another meeting with the school principal, his 2 teachers, his 2nd grade teacher, the school therapist, and speech therapist. After going over what the problem is, him walking out of the classroom, him shutting down and not talking, him feeling overwhelmed. They asked if I would be ok if he was tested. Um, OK? They reminded me that Joshua is a very smart, loving, caring and helpful child, but they think that there is something that we didn’t see. I told them yes, and signed all of the paperwork. I went home, called my husband and told him I need him and he came home and just let me cry. Because again, as a mom you don’t want anything wrong with your child. And again, my husband is my rock.
March 18th 2019 at 7:30AM is when we all met up again at the school. I didn’t sleep at all the night before, so I was nervous. So nervous, I completely forgot that I had hot tea in my cup and went to take a drink like it was water. Lol. OMG, my mouth hurt. I was informed that my loving, caring, smart, happy, funny son, had Aspergers, anxiety, and emotional behavior.
My heart stopped. And soo many things started running through my mind, is it my fault? Will it affect his school grades? Will he be able to function in life? Then the times that I was frustrated came to mind and I felt soooo bad. Because he wasn’t doing it on purpose. They again reassured me that he is one of the most sweetest kids that they have met. We signed the paperwork for him to start his IEP program and I was on board with him being able to go to the Sensory Room when he needs a break and when he feels overwhelmed. He will be taking his tests in there also, so he doesn’t get anxiety seeing others finish before him. He will take speech therapy again for his S’s. And we continue to see his therapist on a weekly basis.
Hearing that your child is on the Autism Spectrum is heart-wrenching. Because you don’t want anyone to mistreat them or bully them. You start researching everything and join an FB group (which has helped soo much). My patience has changed BIG time with him, and I have learned coping skills to help him and we are getting along well. He is doing great with his IEP program. We might be on a new journey, but it is one filled with love and so many new things to learn. This little boy is going to go places in life and I am so proud to say, I love someone who has autism. There is nothing wrong with him, he just thinks differently. But don’t we all? ?
