It was an honor to be the emcee for the San Diego Moms Blog’s Bloom event. In my welcoming address to new and expecting moms, I shared seven pieces of “mom truths” wisdom I’ve adopted as a mom. Many people told me they loved it, so I thought I’d share it in a blog post as well.
I’m a work-at-home, stay-at-home mom. I have a 16-month-old daughter and another on the way due in August. I’m a journalist, podcast host, speaker and co-founder of Kombucha On Tap. Some days there is a balance, but most days, it’s a learning process. Although I still consider myself a “new mom” who has a lot to learn, here are the mom truths I’ve picked up along the way.
1- Laugh, a Lot!
I think baby giggles are the best thing on the planet. The minute you don’t think you can handle another day of crying or diaper blowouts, your baby learns how to giggle and suddenly nothing else matters.
Laugh at yourself too! There are days I look in the mirror and I’m like, “Wow! I didn’t know I could even look this messy! I’m impressed!”
2- Find a Mom Tribe.
It truly does take a village. Go to as many baby or children’s activities as you can. Meet as many moms as you can. Join local mom groups and forums on Facebook and online. San Diego City Moms Blog hosts many events and is an incredible online resource.
If you can, go to activities with your baby consistently like MyGym, Gymboree, Rhyme Time at the library, or Fit 4 Mom’s Stroller Strides. It’s a great way to meet other moms and learn from each other. We all face the same issues with teething, sleep regressions, etc. Why not find out how others are approaching those issues, or at the very least feel supported in knowing you are not alone.
3- Get a Sitter.
If you have grandparents nearby, utilize them. Otherwise, try a babysitting swap with another friend, pay for a sitter, daycare, even join a gym like the YMCA just for the two hours of daycare you get a day. It’s so important to have time just for you. Also, at least once a month go on a date night with your significant other. Don’t wait until your baby is 9 months old, start those date nights right away.
4 – You May “Hate” Your Significant Other For a Year.
Speaking of your significant other, this piece of advice was shared with me by a friend at my baby shower. She told me, “Just know, you will hate your husband for about a year.” Instead of the word “hate,” I’ll swap in the words “disagree with.” This was one of the best pieces of advice I got because it prepped me for the differences in parenting styles and consequential arguments that followed. Knowing those feelings of frustration or dislike were normal made it easier to get through any hard times. I also really appreciated the authentic non-sugar-coated advice.
5 – Breastfeeding Can Hurt!
At least, it hurt for me at first. Everyone is different, but I remember being told at the Breastfeeding 101 class I took, “If it hurts you are doing it wrong.” Right or wrong, can we all agree that there is no shame in admitting it freaking hurts! I’m hoping and praying it hurts less with baby number two. If it didn’t hurt for you, consider yourself lucky. It’s not a fun pain to endure when you are already exhausted and hormonal that first week home from the hospital and your baby is cluster feeding. Also, formula, breast milk, whatever you end up doing… it’s all good. I’m not a doctor, but I believe showing your baby love and kindness matters more in the long run than what they drink.
6 – If You Can Afford a House Cleaner, Do It!
It’s the best $100 I spend every other week. For reference, we have a 1600-square-foot house. I do almost no cleaning between the times she comes.
7 – Motherhood is Amazing AND it’s Hard!
When you see another mom struggling, tell her she’s doing a great job. More than likely she is ready to cry, so a little encouragement and support can go a long way. If you have an extra hand and see a mom with a stroller coming through the door, get the door. Help to put away her shopping cart.
Check in with a new mom, how is she REALLY doing?
Dance and sing with your child. Music is such a mood changer. My daughter Jade and I have daily dance parties. She doesn’t realize yet that I’m not the best dancer (or singer).
Take a bazillion photos of your baby and post them. I used to think, “why don’t these moms post anything about themselves or their significant others? Why is everything about their kid? I’ll never be like that.” I’m totally that mom now! A good lesson in “never say never” and not judging others.
And lastly, take all my advice with a grain of salt. There is no manual, we are all just winging it and doing the best we can. For all the new and expecting moms, welcome to our mom tribe, I’d love to get to know you and I’m thrilled to have you in our village!
