Every generation has its own set of challenges. But there is a common theme; a question for us all as we traverse the pathways of life: to love, or to divide?
Why “divide” instead of hate, you might ask? Because division is the precursor to hate. Some of us would just rather acquaint ourselves with people who think like us. Some of us will then feel permission to speak negatively of those who don’t think like us. And then, there are those of us that will take those words to heart, to then do the unspeakable.
Our words have power. And as parents, who use social media, who seek to influence, and give likes and follows to other influencers—we can decide to spread divisive words and thoughts, or foster unity; celebrate what we have in common, and point out the beauty or possibility for beauty. But for this, we need intentional words.
And this doesn’t mean letting go of our opinions on political issues or social justice. It doesn’t mean we can’t choose to have a religion or not, but it does mean we don’t attack the “other side” as a generalized group of ignorant, misled people at best—and horrible, evil, scapegoated people at worst.
And this takes intention. Because the flow of today’s societal river is towards division. The “us vs them” lingo that is so rampant.
A few weeks ago, I decided to engage with some “anti-vaxxers” to learn where they come from, and point out where I come from. And simply because I challenged their OPINION, I was asked, more or less, to move somewhere else, that I was dumb, etc. However, there were also plenty of people who approached my comment with respect! It didn’t mean they were any less passionate about their opinion, but they sought, in earnest, to engage from a place of: unity and mutual respect. It was worth every insult, to have that experience. But I had to start from that same place as well…
What is your reaction?
What do your kids hear from you when you are faced with someone you find hard to respect or love?
Because we don’t have to be crazy fanatics with guns to foster hate.
I also know another influencer with so many followers, a Christian woman who I’ve come to admire and watch every day. Then one day, she decided to talk about how religion is the opposite to a relationship with Christ. I responded asking her why she has to do that? I wasn’t angry, just a bit thrown and yes, a little sad. I told her it was because of my Catholic faith and family that I found a personal relationship with Jesus—so why would she feel the need to attack religion as a whole?
I know she is a good person, but I think she misses the point that her words have power. Power to influence those that are just waiting for a scapegoate – a reason to mistreat people they don’t agree with. And that kind of talk can even give wings to those unstable enough to do the unspeakable.
The other day, that unspeakable thing happened so close to us. Close to our homes, close to the friends around us. That lovely family that walked to their synagogue every Saturday as we wave to them from our car…
And it is easy to simply say, well, “he” was just crazy, mentally unstable, maybe his parents were evil, or the friends he had were evil…
So easy to distance ourselves from any responsiblity.
But these days, everyone is on their phone. Our children watch how we drive, how we treat each other in the grocery stores. And how we “talk” to each other on social media.
I’ve lost count of the friends who have gotten off of Facebook because of the drama it created in their lives. Is that what we’ve become? A people who can’t even save face and respect our own friends?
So, as I continue to reach for that hope and faith I have in humanity, knowing that it is within our very reach to spread love and unity with those who suffer loss and violence—a violation of their right to exercise their religion…
I plead, ask, that we all reflect on how we think and speak.
Let’s choose to speak life, unity, and real love to everyone – even if we find it hard to understand their opinions. Because we are NOT our opinions. We are one family in humanity.
God bless those who were directly or indirectly affected by the tragedy at Chabad Synagogue in Poway. Please know that we stand with you.
