The Conundrum Presents Itself
If you’re like me, you are in firm denial that the holidays are rapidly approaching. But in reality, they are. Halloween is behind us and Christmas decorations have taken over the stores. One common question that families face every year at this time is, where are we going to spend the holidays? It’s a question that can cause us to feel both stressed and guilty.
Last year was mine and my husband’s first Thanksgiving as parents. Since it was our little ones first Thanksgiving, I agreed to spend time with both my family and my husband’s family. It never even occurred to me that I could possibly be making the wrong decision. I do love the memories we made that day, but I have to admit that by the end of the day I was exhausted.
We started the day with my family, arriving right on time for lunch. But of course, we had to leave too soon. It felt like we were leaving just as the fun was beginning. The guilt crept in as we pulled away from my grandparent’s house. That guilt only intensified when we arrived at my husband’s parent’s house. We were late. Everyone else had been there for hours already. I felt like I was in a no-win situation. Now that I have some parental holiday experience under my belt, I knew that this year would have to be different.
Something’s Gotta Give
Recently, my husband and I sat down and talked through what we wanted to do. After much deliberation we decided to switch off years. We’d spend one year here and another year there. And whoever we don’t spend Thanksgiving with, we will spend Christmas with. Of course, on the off years we will miss being with our respective families. But we felt that this was the fairest way to enjoy time with both our families and keep our wits about us.
Saying no to family can be hard. Sometimes you have to for your own sanity in the long run. They will understand. Do your best to not feel guilty about it. Come up with the plan that is best for you and don’t give in to the pressure of pleasing everyone.
The holidays are supposed to be a joyous time filled with opportunities that allow us to make new family memories. Don’t let the stress of the season take away from that. Take a deep breath and do what’s best for you.
