There’s a popular saying that goes “Never stop dating your spouse” that’s often given as advice to keep marriages healthy and strong. Well, that same advice works with your kids, too. Whether you’re a mom of 1 or 15, a single mom or a married mom or a co-parenting mom, as often as you can, take your kids on dates.
It’s no mystery that children need and crave that one-on-one time with their parents, but when you turn it into a date, it hits another level of special and gives you a brand new way to connect. My son is 13 and my time is running out for how much longer he’ll want to go on mother-son dates with me, but I will take them for as long as I can get them.
It’s usually something simple — like dinner and a movie, but it’s dinner somewhere special, either a place he chose or someplace we don’t normally go, and it’s a movie that has meaning, like when we went to see Dumbo and I cried as soon as the credits rolled because that’s been “our movie” since the moment the sonogram tech said “it’s a boy.” But it’s not what you do that matters, it’s how you do it.
About a week before the date, I usually give him a little gift, whether it’s a shirt to wear the night of the date or the book to go with the movie we’re seeing or just a printout of the menu to get him excited about whatever we’re eating. Then, a few days before the date, I leave him a little note telling him how excited I am about it and thanking him for saving his time just for me.
The night of the date, I get dressed and do my hair and make sure to look nice – just like I would for a date with his father. We hold hands on the way to the car. I let him pick the music on the radio. He opens doors for me. We conspire about what to order so we can capitalize on the menu and try as many things as possible. I let him order dessert, even if he’s had a ton of sugar already and even if neither of us is all that hungry for it.
But most importantly, I put my phone away. Granted, I do take pictures to capture a few moments, but primarily, that phone is tucked into my purse. My eyes are just on him. I’m listening to him with an open mind. I’m speaking to him with an open heart. I am completely and entirely his. And it doesn’t matter if we’re sharing a bag of chips on a park bench or trading bites of steak and lobster at a swanky restaurant. The magic is in my presence, the weight of my focus being completely on him and not scattered across him and his little sister and his dad and work and the household chores. The dinner and the movie are just for show. It’s that connection that these dates are really all about.
Just like they say dating can remind you why you fell in love with your spouse, it can do the same for your child. And even better, it can remind them why they love you, too. When we’re in the daily shuffle of life, it’s easy to get caught up and miss out on all the little things. Setting aside time to just be engaged and present with your kid can open your eyes to things you’d forgotten and help you see things you never knew. It doesn’t have to be particularly often or extravagant. Just once every month or two, just a few hours, something specifically set aside just for the two of you. You’ll be pleasantly surprised how that simple effort will truly fill their heart…and your own.
Making the time and putting in the effort. The small gestures and the attention. Excellent example of a date night with your kiddo! Great read on how to create an everlasting memory.
Thank you! They definitely respond when even just a little effort is put forth and it’s so worth it.
My daughter is my plus one to pretty much everything! Love spending time with her.
And I’m sure she loves being her mama’s date!
Beautiful and so true!!
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it <3
Awww I love this! I had never considered them mini dates before but my daughter and I do love to head to the cinema, go for meals and go on mini adventures. All the while making memories! 🙂 Sim x
Yes, that’s exactly the idea! I bet she loves them even more than you know!
I definitely think that taking your kids on dates is great. Not only is it good for bonding, but it is also great for helping them realize the way they should be treated when they start dating in the future.
My thoughts exactly! I was like good luck to the girls trying to date my kid cuz he’s gonna be a total charmer!
I love this idea so much, that way we could have more one on one time with the child. This is actually very important.
Thank you 🙂 I know the kids absolutely love that one-on-one time!
I couldn’t agree more. My kids absolutely love spending time with my husband and I one-on-one.
Such a simple thing makes such a big impact and reminds them how special they are 🙂
This post warmed my heart. I am not yet a mother but I cant wait to spend as much time as I can with them
Awww, yes, it’s the greatest! And they will love having all your attention.
This is a great idea. We did this last year and stopped. I have to agree that it makes a difference in your child’s behavior when you dedicate time for them.
Yes, 100% it changes their entire attitude all day and with everyone they meet!
I promise I will keep taking my kids on dates separately. Ill make my husband do the same. It’s so great for bonding.
Yes, daddy dates are crucial! He doesn’t just date mommy, he takes the kids out too 🙂
It’s great to spend quality one on one time with your kids.
Absolutely! I love it just as much as they do 🙂
I love going on little day dates with my daughter! It’s the best mommy daughter time.
Yes, totally agree! They love it and we love it and they’re so beneficial!
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