As Strong As The Mother Next To Me: Dr. Lindsay Pfeffer

Meet Dr. Lindsay Pfeffer, Mom + Owner, I-Orthodontics

We are so grateful that Lindsay shared her story with us…

“Hi I’m Lindsay, I’m an orthodontist and owner of I-Orthodontics. I am an avid volunteer day in and day out, but my most rewarding gift is being the mother of my 3 rambunctious kiddos. I am from the East coast and my husband if from the Midwest, so living without family or friends on the West Coast is a hefty challenge, but luckily our personalities seek connection and we have had such community to thank for helping us through the hard times.”

Our ‘As Strong as the Mother Next to Me’ weekly spotlight highlights and celebrates Moms in San Diego and across the globe who believe in building up and supporting moms.

We are excited to share Lindsay’s story with you today!

How did you get started with your current role?

I started my biology and engineering career in Cancer Research before realizing I was meant to talk, so I followed my family’s footsteps and became a dentist. I got west working at USC Medical Center and LA-VA before pursuing my passion for children through orthodontics. Although I have many adult patients, it was my avenue to teach and motivate my favorite ages. It’s gratifying to educate in healthcare beyond the decorating of the teeth and really change faces and improve airways. To help a child or adult, avoid surgery, trauma or be self-conscious of there smile and have a whole new confidence and happiness with their smile is life changing in so many ways.

What does “As Strong as the Mother Next to Me” mean to you?

I am only as strong as the village I surround myself with and yet we are only as strong as we motivate each other to be. Together we can weather anything, we just need our tribe. We are a team and when one is tired or injured or sick, the rest of the flock step up and help us get back up.

What strategies do you use to stay connected?

Volunteering whether it’s with the Junior League, my local Dental Society and California Dental Association, or the community, has kept me connected with a greater sense of purpose. Being in leadership with at MomCo Solana Beach and Nativity have been my way of staying connected and not drowning in the day to day nuances or hurdles. It fills me up and gives me the latitude to be there for others.

How do you involve your children in your professional life, if at all?

My children are part of my office, they have been there since newborns in my office, at the front desk, with me during patients or at volunteer events. I grew up helping and working in my parents office and ran it when my dad suddenly passed, so just like me they too have become an integral part of my practice. And it’s great to see them dive into the art, science, engineering and personal aspects of healthcare. They see me work hard, like I saw my mom growing up and it gave me such a great respect for her and her mind.

Can you share an example of a collaboration with another mom that was particularly successful or fulfilling?

Collaboration with other moms brings me such joy. Whether is volunteering with foster youth or my local MomCo (formerly MOPS) chapters, it’s so rewarding to see your hard effort change someone’s lives for the better and you can’t put a price on that because the gift in both directions is exponential. It bleeds into their self -estemms with affects their decision, friendships, and families.

How do you define strength in motherhood?

Being confidently imperfect. Having pride in your uniqueness while being resilient and looking past the noise and finding what truly matters.

How do you celebrate small victories in motherhood and business?

I love to celebrate everything and anything! Saying yes to everything I can, to make magic moments with my friends and kiddos has been such a rewarding way to feel joy throughout the year and skip through the hard moments. We make sure there is something to celebrate every week, whether it’s something small and otherwise trivial or a fake holiday, we spread them out to have something to look forward to each week. For work, I celebrate my staff by truly being there for them. Whether it’s a loan or helping them further pursue their passions, I want them to feel like family and know that my office is their 2 nd home. I never let celebrations overlap or share a day, so there are many weeks where I continuously just buy lunch and cakes so we can continuously praise those around us.

How do you think societal perceptions of motherhood have changed over the years?

Motherhood has progressively gotten harder because now we’re guilted to be whatever type of mom we are not. Whether it’s working or SAH, we’re never feeling like we are quite enough. And with access to ideas, we let comparison rob us of joy and carefree fun of being a mom. Ignorance is now bliss in a world where too much info, even when it interests you, steels your happiness because it’s often unobtainable both in time and practicality, let alone financially.

How do you balance self-care with taking care of your family and business?

Self care for me is tough because there is nothing I’d rather do for my soul then hang out with my kids because being a working mom robs me of so many special moments, every day. I include my family in my self care, so they get a sense of what it means to relax and have no agenda. Self care to me is hot tubbing, floating on a raft, eating a snow cone or crafting with my kids! It’s all fun, no work and squeezed in wherever the calendar allots. I also have learned that my self-care is not doing what I don’t like… cooking, cleaning, laundry. I’ve decided for me self-care, is only doing what I like with my kids, since my time with them is so short. So I try to have help a few hours a week, to do the small tasks that I don’t enjoy, so the little time I can have is spent how I want to have it… with my kids doing kids things or laying in bed doing volunteer work or scrolling through photos of my kids. It’s more gratifying to help others than clean my house, so for me self-care is doing less all around tasks.

How did you build your community of moms around you? 

My community started through volunteerism, then professionally and now the most rewarding is having my mom community be those who have served with me to help other moms feel heard, supported and loved. Their passion for helping others is intentional and heartfelt, which puts it’s own mark in my heart and motivates me to mirror that love onto others. It has also resonated with my children and husband, how you become much like the people you surround yourself with. So choose wisely.

How important is it to you to surround yourself with other moms professionally and personally?

Moms understand like no one else, the amount of work we do, the strife we feel, the nonstop worry and hustle that goes unnoticed or appreciated… and yet still we persevere because we are determined to see things through and make things the best we can for our kids and our families. We are selfless and devoted. We multitask like no other and juggle so many balls, that having those people in your life that are also understand messy and complicated and can embrace change on a whim, make like so much better. My most respected friends are all do’ers and those Mom’s that are sweet as pie, even when the going is rough, but still have passion to rock in their own way.

What piece of advice would you give another mom who is struggling with balancing motherhood and business?

Don’t worry about what anyone else is doing.. With more stuff comes more stress. Do what makes you happy not what you think you should be doing or what you saw someone else do. Comparison is the truest thief of happiness. Follow your heart and mind, not societal pressures and don’t wait for tragedy to regroup & re-center. Get a tribe where you can refocus often so you don’t lose yourself in work or youth sports. Nothing is as important as your wellbeing, because you are the quarterback for your family. 

Do you have a non-profit or cause that you want us to know more about? And why are you so passionate about this?

Promises to Kids is my favorite non-profit because they support foster youth from womb to success in college. My grandfather was an orphan his whole life and if it wasn’t for someone’s gracious heart and the Navy, he wouldn’t of become a scientist and been able to provide for his family, and make my mom and I’s wonderful lives possible

What challenges do you face as a mother and businesswoman?

Missing out on all the moments that I’ll never get back.. stroller rides, parks, lunch dates, only getting an hour before bed to bond. I have job where when kids are off (nights, weekend, holidays and summer) people want me to work, but its also the few times I’ll get to spend with my kiddos. I’m a people pleaser and can never say No, so I often find myself choosing others over my children and it’s such a hard boundary, especially when you have a small business and rely on people to be happy with you and not bash you online and ruin something you’ve work years for in a few seconds of being disgruntled. 

My hardest moments were when my babies were born. With Bing I had a board meeting 2 hours after C-section and went back to work 3 days later. With Penn I went back to work the morning after my 6pm appendectomy, while Penn was kicking my open wounds of my overly stretched belly.  And then went back again 2 days after my C-section with Penn because it was the day we were allowed to open back up from Covid and people were getting antsy. It was such a hard moment to put my infant, my health, my emotional well being in jeopardy for work but it was something I felt I had to do and I still have PTSD about it. So with my 3rd, I finally got an associate doctor and unfortunately I had to use it when Briggy wasn’t supposed to make it. And it was the 1st time, I felt that I hadn’t taken for granted what is so very important in life, health and happiness. 

Tell us about a challenging time in your business or in your role in motherhood and how you overcame it?

Almost losing my 24 month old to a snakebite was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. The realization that he might not make it despite our best efforts to get him to the ER as fast as possible after knowing within a minute of him being bit and living in the burbs was sobering. Watching him suffer at the house waiting for an ambulance and at the hospital waiting for someone trained on kid people to try and get a vein was brutal. He was losing consciousness and my husband wasn’t there. The thought of him being taken so sudden was heart wrenching. Just seeing his arm turn black and knowing his internal bleeding was so severe that even sedated, he could die was a total shock. It was a miracle he survived at his size and then it was the pain of seeing him not be able to move his arm or hand and the half dollar size boils exploding all over his arm. It definitely shakes you to your core, to watch your child in pain and then have the PTSD that follows. Time stops a bit and makes everything feel so different and insignificant.

What are some of your favorite resources managing your business and/or home life that have saved you time?

At work, AI for transcribing notes has become life changing. I can see 90 patients a day who all need notes and follow up letters to doctors, so at any time I can have 250 doctor letters I need to formulate and sign, so it has helped manage the load by being able to write what I say, rather than staff or I writing something generalized from memory.

Siri voice has been my way to get things out of my brain when I’m driving or at home running around, I no longer have to use my phone, I just say her name and she texts or emails me my task or random thoughts. Everyone always asks me about my iCalander which is color coded, visible and has all the links and invites attached. I am a very visual person and it has been key to me keeping track of all the 3 kiddos stuff, work and Dan’s busy work schedule.

Boomerang  I use to remind me of something in the future and GroupMe have allowed me to get work done when everyone else is sleeping and not wake people up with my texts. I can text back someone without worrying that it will wake someone up, instead of holding onto it and then forgetting in the morning. Delivery: I get everything delivered, there is no more wasting time at the store or buying things I don’t need, it’s automatic.

Delegation: although I do a lot, I have no trouble delegating things that don’t need to be me and it’s amazing. Things that bog me down or waste time, I just don’t do unless I have to, because I am so much happier. It takes a village and I’ve signed up for a lot, but I have no problem passing down the amazon package return or oil change  to someone else lol.

Can you share a moment when another mom’s support made a significant difference in your life?

I remember back right before Pennly was born (during the height of Covid), I had to have an emergency appendectomy and I was so scared to be alone in the hospital where people were dying and be put to sleep and have my stomach cut open when she was 32 weeks. The isolation and terror I felt was unmatched and sadly during that time I didn’t have MomCo. But this time, during out darkest moment, when Briggy was in the ICU all of my friends and volunteers from MomCo were trying to help me with anything they could. They filled my heart with support from meals, help with Binghampton and Pennly, to getting what I needed most, a shower from Ronald McDonald house. It was such a blessing to not leave Briggy’s side and yet have everything I needed both there and at home. The prayers and love my family and I felt was monumental and everlasting

Would you like to offer anything to our readers?

$1000 off orthodontic treatment when you mention “San Diego Moms”

MOMination

We become better women, partners, leaders, and friends by empowering and lifting each other up. Thank you Ashley for MOMinating these two women below who have inspired you.

Tanya Maria and Katie Bassett

They are the happiest, caring, loving people you’ll ever meet! They are always thinking of others and have such an infectious spirit in everything they do. They saw a desire for MOPS (now called MomCo) to go beyond preschool and they made it happen from scratch with nothing but heart & soul. No matter what, they are always there for those that need it, even if they don’t know you, because they are far and away the most gracious of all people. They never say no to fun and are always a helping hand when needing to make others feel at home. I can’t think of two people more like angels on this earth and are role models for who we all strive to be.

We are thrilled to bring back our weekly spotlight that will highlight and celebrate Moms in San Diego and across the globe who believe in building up and supporting moms.

We hope that if we can debunk the idea that you have to take on this journey alone, as a community of moms, we will all walk away stronger, inspired, and raise stronger children and become better partners. We’d love to hear from you!