Oh No! It’s true…my child is “THAT” child.

On the day my son turned one, he also turned into “THAT” child. I knew that gentle parenting was the parenting approach I wanted to take. If my child felt safe and securely attached, he would not only have a higher IQ, but he will also develop a healthy emotional intelligence (EI.) But on this special day I was really wondering if gentle parenting was for me?

Although, looking back I have to admit, I had an inclining given his iron-willed personality that was apparent within a few days of his birth when he began protesting against the swaddle; otherwise he was usually easy and calm, which further reinforced my idea that I would never parent “THAT” child.

After all, I had behavior management experience, I studied child development and taught preschool. I could diffuse any situation with suggestive wording, at eye level, in a calm and soothing voice.

Pair that with an easy temperament, I was golden. Some off days where a given, but I was confident I would never experience those embarrassing “THAT” child public outbursts. Not the kind of meltdowns that come from being tired or needing a diaper change; the kind of inconsolable outbursts that purely stem from negative emotions,”THAT” child……

You know, “THAT” child, who has a melt down in the middle of the store because he is not allowed to grab the items in the cart and throw them on the ground.

You know, “THAT” child, who will belt out a high pitch scream, in the middle of the library all because you said “no” to throwing books.

You know, “THAT” child, whose body does a perfect backwards bend, all while turning red with a scrunchy face and yelling at the top of his lungs because its time to leave the park.

If you parent “THAT” child then you might relate to my initial reaction to these public meltdowns, which was quick give him what he wants, now run and hide.

As I pondered the situation, I came to the realization that these embarrassing and often frustrating meltdowns are here to stay.

There had to be a teachable moment somewhere in the land of meltdowns, right? And then it hit me, gentle parenting was for me!

Suddenly, turning into “THAT” child was a great thing.

He is growing and developing socially and emotionally, along with his new found independence, he is also becoming more autonomous. His outbursts, which I once viewed as something that needs to be quieted down; I now lovingly embrace. I use the meltdowns to help him label/understand his emotions. While I validate his feelings, and let him work through them physically and emotionally, (stating boundaries along the way) once he calms himself down we move on to having fun again!

It’s not always easy and I often have to take a deep breath myself, to stop from becoming frustrated. And although, it’s not a quick fix to stopping public outbursts and to some it may seem like I’m raising a spoiled brat, I believe it is the path to raising a child with high emotional intelligence.

EI is the ability to understand your emotions and empathize with others so you can interact, problem solve and communicate effectively in a healthy and socially acceptable way. You can read more about ways to help develop emotional intelligence here.

So yes, he may be “THAT” child, but he’s also “THAT” child…..

You know, “THAT” child who somehow senses your bad day and lovingly gazes into your eyes with a big smile before wrapping his little arms tightly around your neck in a sweet embrace.

You know, “THAT” child who stirs in the middle of the night and does not fall back asleep until a hand or foot finds you and makes sure you are still near.

You know, “THAT” child who introduced you to a mothers love and has given you a whole new purpose to live on this Earth.

If you are lucky enough to have “THAT” child in your life, then you already know we have some challenging years ahead. But, at the end of the day would you really want it any other way? Have any favorite “THAT” child moments? Share them below.