I Hope I Remember :: Thoughts on Motherhood


Being a mom is really hard.

There isn’t one day that goes by that I don’t think this job is the toughest I’ve ever had. Of course I am in the trenches right now with a 1 year old and 2 year old so the daily challenges are very fresh in my mind. However, I feel like I am often meeting moms who are a little, or a lot, further along in their motherhood adventure, and I get the impression that I am alone in my feelings. These moms make it seem like their baby always slept through the night and they never tolerated outbursts in Target from a strong-willed toddler.


I don’t think that these moms are trying to make me feel bad (at least I hope not). I think they just really don’t remember. They don’t remember the past struggles of mommy-hood because they may be in the throes of some new, different challenges, or they may be suffering from what I like to call mom-nesia.

Mom-nesia being the condition that helps us forget all of the really hard parts of motherhood and allowing us to only remember the good. I am sure that one day I may be a sufferer of mom-nesia, but I am going to let this post serve as my reminder to not tell the sleep-deprived new mommy how wonderful my babies always slept. When I meet that desperate mommy, here is what I hope to remember:

I hope I remember calling my own mom in tears when my first-born was just a few months old and she wouldn’t let me put her down. All. Day.

I hope I remember my two year old’s epic tantrums when I accidentally gave her the wrong colored plate or cut her banana incorrectly.

I hope I remember that breastfeeding really hurts and it’s not all that “natural”. Also pumping sucks.

I hope I remember letting my daughter wear a tutu every single day because: #pickyourbattles. Am I right?!

I hope I remember feeling completely and utterly helpless when my kids were sick.

I hope I remember how horrible teething is. Period.

I hope I remember how fast toddlers can get into trouble….like the time I left the room for one second and came back to my daughter sitting on her newborn sister’s head.

I hope I remember taking turns riding in the backseat between two car seats to keep the baby from screaming and the toddler from waking up the baby who was not yet screaming.

I hope I remember the feeling of being excluded from an event because: “no kids allowed”.

I hope I remember the times I forgot to hit “send” on a message because: sleep deprivation.

I hope I remember the challenge of getting two kids into car seats during a heat wave while people waited impatiently to pull into the spot next to us.

I hope I remember how many times I had to say the word “share” each day. (500 approximately)

I hope I remember that parenting makes marriage even harder and that it’s normal to consider punching your snoring husband in the face in the middle of the night.

I hope I remember that kids are really messy. Like really, really messy.

I hope I remember the embarrassment of watching my daughter push her friend on the playground.

I hope I remember breaking down in tears the night before I was leaving my babies for the first time for a much-needed weekend away. (And I hope I remember that it was the best thing for all of us and I should do it more often).

I hope I remember how I felt like I was completely screwing up this whole parenthood thing daily.

I hope I remember that no matter how long my day was, when my kids were sleeping peacefully I would miss them.

Mostly, I hope we all will try our best to remember, or at least pretend to remember, for the sake of that new mom, because what she really needs is a whole lot of encouragement and a bucket full of grace.


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Brittany is a third generation San Diego native. She is married to her college sweetheart and best friend for life. They welcomed their first daughter, Sadie, seven weeks early when Brittany’s water broke unexpectedly on Labor Day. After going through some postpartum complications and a surgery, Brittany was surprised to learn she was pregnant again before Sadie’s first birthday. In April 2015, their second daughter, Ellasyn was born. Brittany left her job as an elementary school teacher to stay home with their two daughters. When she isn’t playing dress up and reading Snow White for the 100th time, she loves cheering on her favorite sport’s teams with her husband and reading a good book. She isn’t sure if she is a great cook or if her family just likes to eat. Brittany also enjoys making lists for everything and covering every piece of furniture she can find in chalk paint. Brittany shares her lists and her life over on her blog Ever, Ever After.


    • I am so glad Melanie! Motherhood can feel really lonely at times, but we all have our tough moments. I am sure you are a great mother!


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