Dear Single Parent of the Modern Family

My parents divorced when I was eight years old. When I was given the opportunity to work in Family Law, not only did I learn quickly about the process, but I drew from my personal experience to help our clients cope with the emotional roller coaster they were on.

In today’s society, it’s not so uncommon to have divorced parents. People figured it out and have what we call today “A Modern Family”. So here’s a letter to today’s modern family:

Dear Parents,

Congratulations on your new life. Before you embark on this journey, there are a couple of tips and tricks I’d like to share.

1. Forever truly means forever. My parents used to say, “I only have to do until she’s 18 years old”. JOKES ON YOU! You will forever have to figure out major birthdays, college graduations, weddings and grand-babies.
2. No matter the situation, do not talk bad about the other parent. Courts call it “alienation” but I like to call it just being a jerk. Try to remember times where you both were happy and hold tight. Whether it was just one night or 10 years, there must have been one happy moment where you thought, “this is great”. The other parent is trying to figure out just as much as you are.
3. As hard as it is, try to set aside your personal feelings for your child’s best interest. I worked in Family Law for eight years and I’ve seen a lot. Feelings of anger, disappointment and/or hurt can quickly take over a situation. While your feelings are probably valid, think about what the outcome will be for your child. Sometimes, the other parent will hurt you and I’m sorry for it, but you have the opportunity teach your child to learn how to properly react to all forms of situations.
4. There is absolutely NO ONE who can take your place. Stepparents will come into the picture. Sometimes, your child will see them more than you but trust me, no one will ever be able to take your place. It might feel like it, but it won’t happen. There is an unexplainable bond you and your child will always have. Try to encourage yourself and know there is one more person thrown in the mix to love your child.
5. Don’t ever give up on your child. In my work, I have seen a couple of parents give up on fighting for their children. You may think you have a good enough reason but your child will forever be negatively affected. There is no greater pain than seeing your parent give up and walk away.

Life is hard. Having a family is hard. Being the bigger person is hard. But YOU are stronger. You can do it!

All my love,

Your biggest cheerleader