Don’t Look Back: A Mom’s Dressing Room Confessions


dressing room

Dear dressing room mirrors at the store with the big red bullseye, and the store that rhymes with Shmacy’s and the good ol’ navy….see what I did there? 

Okay…listen up!

>>>>> YOU WOULD SELL A LOT MORE CLOTHES IF YOU REMOVED THE BACKSIDE MIRROR in your dressings rooms! Clearly a man designed them. 

If God intended for me to see my backside he would have put eyes on the back of my head! But he didn’t. So don’t show me the view I never see. I’m not into shock value. I’m just not comfortable with it. I finally got to a good place with the front view and that’s only taken 34 years. (eye roll)

The backstory:

I barely had a chance to get ready for this outing. I had a toddler clinging to my legs while I tried to style my hair, which ended up in a top-knot. And speaking of top-knots – this top I just tried on is a NOT – nope – no thank you because as I pulled it on and glanced in the mirror I noticed the back mirror and was quickly distracted by my rear view. The top could have made my boobs look perkier than a 22 year old on a first date. But nooooo, now all I can focus on is the back fat pouring out of the sides of my bra, the greasy hair falling out of my bun and don’t get me started on that booty. Ugh, I’ve just never had a great relationship with what’s back there and the out of sight out of mind thing was REALLY working for me. 

I guess I’ll just stick to the classic mom with a toddler move and try stuff on over my clothes right there in the middle of the aisle. And yes, I know what you’re thinking. Just buy it and try it on at home in front of the comfort of your own mirror. Yeah, this isn’t my first rodeo – BUT I have a toddler. The chances of this garment making it back out of the house without a yogurt stain on it is VERY SLIM. 

So, to the women’s department of the stores not named but completely identifiable above – Just do this mama a favor and at the very least take the rear view mirror out of ONE of the stalls and label it for ME – maybe something like – “Reserved for front view preferred only”.  


The mom that would have dropped over a hundo if she hadn’t seen her rear view. 

P.S. I love you so much Target – but rear view mirrors are made for cars!


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