This isn’t an easy topic to discuss.
Eventually, your family will suffer loss of a loved one. Sometimes more than once while your children are little; there is no getting around it.
How you handle the emotional situation for your kiddos is up to you, but there is something you can do for any child(ren) in your life that you know who are going through loss.
Children process loss so much differently then adults. Sometimes they don’t understand, and sometimes they just need to stop dwelling on all the negativity that surrounds death. When I lost my father-in-law, I was understandably upset, but even more distraught then I would have been, because I knew that my husband and I would have to break the news to our children.
I told a few of my friends and partners from SDMB about what happened, and they came together and surprised us with this amazing, yet simple idea. They shipped a gift basket to my daughters. Inside the box, there was a heart felt note about how much fun their Grandpa must be having with all the other Grandpas up in Heaven, and they included specific “gifts” that might help them get through this hard time.
I wanted to share it with you because this thoughtful gift basket made my daughters feel so awesome, and for a while they were able to sit on the fact that their Grandpas death didn’t just affect them. That they had friends who understood and cared about them and wanted to make them feel better. Maybe you can be that bright light for a child that you know who might be dealing with this same situation!
Included in the gift basket were items like these*:
Hot cocoa- Something as simple as a cup of hot cocoa with loads of marshmallows that warms their body also warms their little soul(s)
Tea- My kiddos love to sip on tea, so including some honey and lavender tea will naturally calm them
Relaxing bubble bath or lavender bath salts- Something to help them relax because bubble baths solve everyones problems
Bath bombs- Those are not only relaxing for the littles but very distracting. Once they see the magic of the bath bomb and are able to take a blue bath, they are able to forget about their worries for a bit
Picture Frame- This one was so thoughtful. Include a frame where the child can put in a picture of them and their loved one lost
Snacks/ their favorite candy- I’m not sure if my friends realized that reese’s were MY favorite candy, so I even appreciated that inclusion. As adults, we can sometimes cope with snacking on our favorite foods, so in this one occasion, it’s always nice to have one of your favorite treats. Maybe then can also include their loved ones favorite treat and when you eat it, you can think of how much your loved one would like it!
And depending on their age- you can include a coloring book/crayons or pens or maybe even a journal for an older child to write in. It could help them get their feelings out.
I am not an expert at all on how to handle death with little ones, but with this sweet gesture from my friends, I know have a better understanding of how we can support our friends and their children during a hard time. What would you include?
PS- THANK YOU to my dear friends, Elisabeth, Xochitl, Ashly and Felicia for being such a bright light <3
* All of the item links are amazon affiliates. They were provided to you for your convenience, and if you use them, SDMB will get a small portion back. You can find any of these items at Target or your local drug store as well!
