The “Bedtime Routine” Tango


I’m a big fan of musicals. When I fall for one, I listen to the soundtrack over and over until I know the words by heart. Recently I’ve been crushing on ‘The Greatest Showman,’ and it’s pretty kid-friendly, so I have the whole family singing it!

What I’m not a fan of? Bedtime. The sleep part I like, it’s all the battles leading up to it that drive me insane!

As hubby and I are bargaining and negotiating during bedtime last night, a song started playing in my mind from one of my all-time favorite musicals, ‘Rent.’ No joke, it just popped into my head and I couldn’t get it out after realizing that it’s exactly how I feel at bedtime. The bedtime routine feels a lot like dancing the tango. There’s a lot of give and take, a bit of a power struggle, but if the partners can sync up, it’s a beautiful thing. Aaah, sleep. What a finale.

If you’ve seen ‘Rent’ you’ll remember this song, and I hope you sing along. If you haven’t, watch this video.

‘The Bedtime Routine’ sung to the tune of ‘The Tango Maureen’:

The bedtime routine song sung to the tune of the tango Maureen

This is bedtime.
I’m hungry.
It’s bedtime.
I’m thirsty.
I’m so tired,
That I don’t know what to do.

Demanding her night light,
And, then wants a lullaby,
You get them all set,
now we’re through! (so you think)

Am I going insane?
She wants a drink again?
Now I’m thinking of pouring one for meeee.
As a matter of fact —
Mama, I know this act,
It’s called ‘The Bedtime Routine.’

The Bedtime Roooooutine.
It’s a dark, dizzy merry-go-round.
As she keeps you dangling, (from the bedpost)
Your mind she is mangling. (brain scrambled)
And you toss and you turn,
‘Cause the kid just won’t learn,
Yet you beg and you plead and she’s up!
I think you know what Imean,
The Bedtime Roooouuuutine.

Has she ever pouted her lips and said, “please lay down with meee?”
(Every night.)
Have you ever fallen asleep in her bed?
(Maybe a time — or ninety threee.)
Did you sigh when she asked for another book?
(Every time — so I’m cautious)
Did she try to pile the stack high — ?
(More than the moon –)
I’m getting nauseous.

:: Start Dancing! ::

She ate it. 
She drank it. 
That kid brushed it. 
Then we read it. 
I’m defeated.
I should give up right now.
Gotta look on the bright side,
It will soon be goodnight
To the room and the moon and that cow.

When you’re dancing her dance
You don’t stand a chance
Her grip on your pants makes you fall
So you think, ‘Might as well’
“Dance of Bedtime to hell”
‘At least I’ll have slept some at all’

The Bedtime Rooouuutine.
Gotta dance till your diva is through
You pretend to believe her
Cause in the end — you want to leave her
Asleep, it will come
Still you have to play dumb
Till you’re glum and you’re numb
And turn blue

Why can’t she just go to sleeeeep?
Without all the food, drinks and stuffed toys for a weeeeeeeek???

The Bedtimmme Roooutinnnne!

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Suzanne Lockyer Lawriw
Suzanne is a work-at-home mama to 3 girls and the wife of a Yankee lovin', craft-beer drinkin' Oregonian. She has a passion for natural living, free range parenting and bonding over the real-life ups and downs of motherhood. When she's not building her work-at-home empire and teaching wellness workshops, you can find her ignoring housework and hanging with mama friends at kid-friendly breweries or parks by the beach. It might intrigue you to know Suzanne is a veteran of the United States Army, has worked in the dot-com industry as a techie geek, and sold drugs for 8 years (pharmaceuticals for Pfizer!) before living the momlife. In all her spare time, she stares at unread stacks of fiction and self-development books, dreams about travelling all over the world, longs to follow Michael Franti and Dave Matthews on tour, and drools over home design and cooking shows. You can follow her on instagram @motherrockin and she welcomes like-minded mom friends when you track her down on Facebook. (No, it's NOT completely weird to friend a stranger)



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